I’m not really great at expressing myself or my thoughts, which is probably why I need to write them out. Last week was a whirlwind, but to be honest, compared to when it happened the first time during COVID, I’m strangely okay about it. Yeah it’s always rough news or hard to hear, but I’m not hurt about it like I was while I was working at my older job. To be honest, I think my parents are more concerned for me than I am, but I’m just taking it in stride and will just need to figure out my next steps.

Maybe it’s because it’s already happened once before, or I’m more confident in myself… even though I have no idea what confidence I should really be having. I’m not really sure what my skill set for a job is these days with the work that I was previously performing. I’m not sure how these will correlate to any new opportunities or things that I can find, but I guess that’s the fun of exploring new opportunities and challenging myself to find something new.

I guess the reason why I’m word vomiting right now is because I should be exploring and finding what I think are my dreams or passions, but for some reason I’m so desensitized or just so unbothered to not even find that, even with the time that’s been given to me. I think I’m a bit apathetic to where I am at, where these things no longer bother me. I think I need to change the small things first with myself before I can figure out those bigger items in the future. So, with that, I need to start cleaning my room… and cleaning my closet… and cleaning everything in general. I think with that, and slow workings on the exterior, things will start to make more sense.