I think I should switch to writing something weekly… since it really does help in organizing my thoughts and to make it feel like I’m not just going through the motions of the week. I think I have trouble committing to things once it comes to action or I get bored of it really easily. I feel like that’s shown in my huge catalog of backlogged videogames that I have, the eclectic taste of music, and horrible habit of fixating on one certain thing until I either drive myself crazy about it or give up on it.

Reflecting back on 2018, there definitely has been some major changes.

I guess the first big one is learning to live by myself. I purchased an apartment and moved out of the house back in May and have started living there since June. It’s been an interesting time adjusting to living outside of home while working. I realized how much commuting drains you because I drained 24/7, learned the annoyances of being in the kitchen, and gained 1000000 times more respect for my mom. I don’t know how she went to work and then prepared food for us and not want to die in the process. I realized that I’m a person that needs to have a constant routine of things, or else things will sink really quickly. When it comes to laundry, I need to do it every two weeks, when it comes to dishes, once a week [praise the Lord for a dishwasher], and other stupid stuff like that. I think without it I just become a bum without any real motivation.

Living alone also made me realize how I spend my free time. Half of the time I’m a couch potato. I need to better use my time in honing a craft or doing something more productive. I realized I watch way too much stuff on my laptop and want to shut my brain off once I hit the passcode to enter my apartment. Yes you can excuse that for working hard and getting mentally drained at work and commuting, but that doesn’t excuse the fact that I’m wasting time doing nothing for multiple hours a day. I’m going to try to change that in the next year by reading more, learning more, and enhancing my skill-set in general.

The other half of my time was spent at church. Not necessarily a bad thing, but I feel like I was definitely burnt out and lost the reason for why I started serving. Ultimately I stepped down from youth group and took a backseat to praise team. I did like it, and it made me take a real look as to why I was doing these things… was it just because it was expected of me or was there a joy in doing so? I think once I had that figured out it was easier for me to realize why I was doing this and what I needed to do. Definitely need to renew myself more with the word this upcoming year and have set out to do that as well.

This year my group of brothers changed as well. With Peter being married, Ohyoung leaving in February, Ed leaving at the start of this year in 2019 and just being super busy at work… I thought D4LN was over. God works in weird ways though… I’m blessed to have Mike, Sam, and Richard stay and help each other cultivate and grow in the past year. Although we were always friendly, within the past year I think we grew our friendship into a real brotherhood where there is trust, love, and most importantly prayer for one another. I think that’s what really sets apart relationships from being just a normal or casual thing.

I also joined a small group at the end of the year and finally committed to being a more involved Mosaic member. I think I never really took an ownership of where I was in regards to the church, but I felt like within the past year it really changed. Not sure why, but I guess it’s a heart change.

Other things that I can’t really think of on the top of my head changed as well, but I hope that 2019 brings forth more changes (and hopefully more weight loss) and that I can keep chopping away.